Saturday, February 14, 2009

Me! Now with lots more random!

Erm. As you can see. I like to write. Randomly. Sometimes well.. sometimes not so well. Well here yah go.


"You're a jerk!"

She glares up at me, trying to decide if her insult struck home or not. I shrug. I suppose I owe that. She huffs out her chest and tries to make her lanky 4'4" body even taller.

"I said that yo--" This is pulls a raised eyebrow out of me. She stumbles over her words and just ends up spewing sounds like "rrrryagh!" but im not quite sure on my spelling. I calmly put down my papers and turn to the little girl.

"Yes, Mandie?"

"You're a jerk!"

"I got that part, yes. Anything else I should be informed of?"

"Sammy got more goldfishes than me!" I stare at her. I admit, the first week, this stuff really did baffle me. Who cares about how many goldfish the person sitting next to you got? Apparently, that's a seven-year-old's job. After a few months working at the daycare, I still really didnt understand. But you dont have to understand why someone's dying of thirst to give them water. I sigh and look down at the girled named Mandie, who's now on the verge of tears. As a guy, Im not really qualified to handle crying. Not part of my wiring system. I get up from the picnic table I was sitting in and go evenly distribute the goldfish, so everyone is happy. I sit back down and Amanda, the other daycare employee, laughs.

"You're not made to be here hun. She walked all over you." She grins and I just cant help grinning back like a fool. I dont care if I had to have a whole elementary school walk all over me; if it got me a smile from Amanda, well, that'd just be okay. I become acutely aware that Im still smiling and she's not. The smile disappears in a flash and I cough nervously. I feel like a fool. It must be obvious that Ive been head over heals for this woman since I started here. But what was I going to do? She's already out of college and got a nice job along with the summer babysitting. What do I have? A cramped dorm back on campus and a dorm hall full of literature nerds and guys who havent seen the light of day since they decided to connect the library to our dorm to make space for the new tech building. I cough again.

"I didnt let her walk all over me. I just made her happy. Did you see her face? She was about to come unglued." I throw my arms above my head, "I dont know about you but I sure dont want a bunch of screaming kids right before their parents come to pick them up." And sure enough, as I the words left my mouth a car pulled down the grassy drive and Amanda waved to the parents of a little tan boy who hopped into the car and was jabbering his parents' ears off as they drove back down the road. She turned to me with a smug look.

"No she wasnt. Did you see how fast her eyes got dry when she got her fish? She's pulling your chain. Admit it, you're weak when it comes to water works."

"Am not! I just-- well you see-- yeah okay, I'm weak." I throw my arms up in mock defeat and she laughs. " But im fine with everything else. Give me a little boy and no problem. But little girls? They bawl over everything!" I add with a hint of defeat in my voice. Amanda reaches over the table and pats my hand. When our skin contacted everything seemed all of a sudden more vibrant. Though, as soon as it started she drew her hand away and went to help a tiny red-headed boy carry his art projects to his mom's car. She waved them off and returned to the table. I started, alarmed, when she began to put her things away.

"What, already?" I look around with a start. No kids in sight. I was so busy centering on Amanda I didnt notice all the kids going home. Im a great babysitter I thought bitterly. Like Amanda had said, I was made for here. Honestly, I didnt know why I was here. I know I needed the money. But working retail or even some fast foods paid better than this. Alright, Amanda was one of the reasons I was still there. Another because I had applied to everywhere else and no one really seemed to be hiring. I pull myself out of my thoughts to wave Amanda goodnight and watch her little red honda accord drive away. All by myself, in the back field of the local church, on a bench. Having no idea where I was going. I sat there for a while, thinking of just about everything. When my cell phone vibrates across the table. I pull it across the table to look at the caller id and drop it when I read "Amanda Yinski". We exchanged numbers for work and work only. I had never had the guts to call. I pick it up and answer.

"hel--Hello?" My voice cracks in the middle and I feel like dying.

"Hey! Nathan! God, I totally forgot, with getting all the kids with the right parents and all. Did you want to come get a drink with a few of my friends tomorrow night? It's my.. um.. birthday" She says it as a whisper and I get the hint to not ask how old she is. "So you want to? I mean, you dont have to, if you dont want to... hello?" My mouth hung open in shock. I quickly start my heart back up.

"I-I'd love to. Where?" I pull everything out of my pockets, trying to find paper and a pen.

"The Runner. Only good place in town right?" She laughs and I give a half hearted laugh. The Runner served alchol. Of course it did. She's an adult. In fact, I was to. But I was only 20. Would be for the next 4 months.

"Of course. Hey, um, I could be the designated dri--"

"No no! We got one. Wont drink. Religious thing, I dont know. Great guy. So you coming?" I had no, I cant. Im not old enough on the tip of my tongue, but what came out was entirely different:

"Of course! Wouldnt miss it for the world."

"Perfect! So the details are..." I only listened enough to mechanically write it all down and say goodnight. I sat there, dubmfounded. I tipped from the emotions delighted and horrified. It was great, superb, unimaginable that I was going out with Amanda. But Ill look like a complete idiot in front of her and her friends when I show up and dont drink with them because I cant. Not because I decide not to. Because im not old enough. How baby was that? I slide out of my seat and walk to my little beat up volvo bug and slip in, unsure what to do after that.

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